TAKEN2, ART&WAR. by Angel Brynner.(should i say “spoilers”?)

I just saw the movie Taken 2 last night.

You who know me know of my shall we say penchant for action movies:the highlight of this excursion was seeing the trailer for the next Die Hard installment, and MY MOVIEnovember is being set NOT by vampires but by SKYFALL,baby…I  can’t WAIT to see THAT MAN jump into THAT train the way he does in the trailer with a full sense of the why behind it.

But onto the film TAKEN2…to the point action-flick. A man acting just like the man the average dad rails he’d be IN the situation as he’s screaming at the TV[movie screen,what have you] next to the daughter who would be the kidnapped child he was protecting, in exactly the same way lol.

SO THEY KNOW THEIR TARGET GROUP. LOL.

This is for the dad who never gets to tell his whimmery kid to “Shut up & drive-!” “shut up & do it!” “Go!Go!”…but who dreams of doing it. & in that dream, the whiny nebulously adult teenchild has sparks of intelligence that are purely-AND I MEAN PURELY- from him.

HOW in the world THIS Father, who had to go through HELL to get THIS Child who was taken in the FIRST MOVIE didn’t come back to L.A. & DEMAND that she & her mom take self-defense classes-especially since he is some sort of security professional ….

MAKES NO FLIPPIN SENSE WHATSOEVER& UNDERMINDS EVERY RELATIONAL ASPECT OF THE FLIPPIN MOVIE LOL.

…but if we were going to this kind of movie for relational aspects outside of Eddie Murphy & Judge Reinhold, we needed to be popped in the forehead and reminded this is a frickin Liam Neeson movie lol.

I didnt MIND the movie.i’d put it off, having a feeling my biggest premonitory foible with the flick was going to come true & come big.

And BOY O BOY, did it.

HOLLYWOOD.

Why DO you HATE FAMKE JANSEN?! WHAT DID SHE DO TO YOU?Did her portrayal of Jean Grey haunt your dreams for years after the 2nd to last Xmen and you just had to make her pay for killing Professor X?

Even a Little cohesiveness as to why these two were together besides he was a dog & she was a marrowless bone that needed to be rescued would have been soooooo enjoyed.

Instead, you take one of the finest, subdued female action hero/villain successes on celluloid and you tell her the only way she will ever work in that boundaryless “town” again( since you shoot all over the place) is if she apologizes for that strength, for bringing that character to screen by sniveling, crying, gibbering, and then- at like FIVE different points in the movie where she could’ve started busting balls or at least trying to battle-on, not without my child style- you make her snivelsob”No!” & go along with the ruse.

Hollywood…

This is no different that the black man getting killed in a horror flick first lol.It’s a trope. an old one. And with all these guys who’ve married &got with these “strong 2012 women”…I mean come on!

Even…even in True Lies…Jaime Lee Curtis…eventually got hardcore!

Oh the vaginal infamy!lol

They slit her jugular & strung her upside down with chains.he frees her.

THEN LEAVES HER. THIS GUY…LOLOMG.Twice.

Famke Jansen spends 90% of the movie unconscious or screaming & sobbing.

But at least there’s Ice cream.

My inner actionhero chick wants to beat this director’s ass lol.

But she appreciates the Krav Maga scenes.& the rod fight.that was kinda cool.

Brain-wise, I give it a B. For being true to what it is.Revenge porn for the fathers who’ve long since forgotten or lost the ability even to protect their daughters inthis bizarre world we live in due to its current everyday dangers, if they give a fuck at all. The B goes solid for all the girls who get odd,bossy calls from their Dads on the heels of them seeing this flick. At least the mofos call in, right?

But my Vahjayjay gives it a D for FN Famke Jansen.

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