A FAB-smack on the Ass of K-Huds. AOLAB 29JAN2014

I’ve always LIKED Kate Hudson. I liked the characters she was drawn to as an actress, the vibe she puts out there as a creative, and I have always loved her mom’s work & vibe. goldiekhud

Like I hope to vibe out like Hawn & Hudson with any daughters God chooses to bless me with someday. Now it may just be an act, they are both actresses, but whatever~  I feel like it’d be cool 🙂 . In true Extroverted-Introvert style, this revelation may be a tad surprising to many of you. These kind of proclamations are not exactly my …style lol.

“YOU~ have had a girl crush?!YOU? & It’s…it’s been Kate Hudson?! ..really?Truly didn’t see that coming at all! but you Hate smiling! & She’s- she’s-” 

After all, even being utterly in love with Lenny Kravitz, the entire time I’ve been typing this I’ve been wracking my brain to recall the name of the Cameron Crowe movie she burst onto the scene as a Band-Aid in. But that’s not where she “got” me. She got me in that one with Mr. “One Genius at a time, bitches!!”  himself, Matthew McConaughey. She even made me like HIM as an actor long before his choices did. I thought she was Hilarious in that. Anyway~

I wasn’t comfortable with my grin for a long time because people made too much noise about it, always wanting me to “smile” but stepford-wifey-commercial cataloguey, reining it in when my natural one is kind of happily “duh-huh~lol.” So instead I just perfected my “I’m a Kill you if you ask my ass to smile again~” glare, which I am still kind of great at. But I  remember once seeing Her rocking Her goofy grin on some red carpet, klieg-lighting every one else OUT. My response, with a chuckle was “…Oh!So we’re here?…Well…ok~ :”D” hoisting my freak flag high and moving happily on.Between her and Cameron Diaz, I got to “fuck it, this is me” with the grin God gave me & stopped forcing myself to make a big deal out of smiling or not.

She was always grinning like a Cheshire cat,  very “F you, I knOOWw i’m hot~ I live with thiiiis~lol” like she was both purring and snort-laughing to herself. Plus she had a tendency to, when it was time to dress up, just basically scatter crystals across something sheer, slinky and-dare I say, comfortable-looking-  & call it a day, upstaging every chick attempting Old-Hollywood GLAHM-our, Daaarling~ with a toss of that goofy-assed grin.

Beyond that, out of all the actresses out there that we women have foisted on us as supposedly our body dharmas or ideals, Hudson always made me smirk a bit because she was the only one I ever felt seemed to be built like me[give or take 6 inches of leg] & left alone about it because they knew she didn’t give a ef what they may or may not have had to say about her “shape.” She wasn’t too skinny, she was slender, solid, healthy-looking for her height with that build. You never saw her going into  DD or Emaciate mode because she- she just always photographed as comfortable looking in her skin.

Blah-blah-blah.  Don’t make more of it than it is, don’t try to go Freud when its more of a Donna Karan kind of thing lol. Anyway, she works sporadically, it’s simple & not that deep, but i’d absently cheer on what-have-you.

Which brings us to Today.

When it comes to workout gear, since the aftermath of a full-on verklempt-ness with Get in Shape girl gear as an 80s kid I have always been so  basic black gear  that it’s been ridiculous. “Simple, boring-  I am not trying to pick up anyone in the gym anyway, & why break bank for something I’m going to beat the hell out of & have to replace” kind of head.  I’d tried on Nike & Fila stuff over the years & the cuts never fit me, things were never long enough or they added space where my body didn’t need more fabric. I wasn’t going to buy things that didn’t fit just to be a billboard-a bad one, mind you- for a company that had no appreciation for how I am built.  Their indifference coupled with my scowl over fit as it was Long before the price was an affront  led to me being Notorious for grabbing leggings for pennies  and destroying-then-replacing them with nan a rush because i’d invested basically nothing. A pair of $8 leggings that make guys Love to be behind me cussing in yoga class versus a pair of $89 leggings doing the same thing but with a swoosh? No thanks. It got “Ef It” & “frugal” real quick.

This also meant that sometimes it felt as if there was no pull factor into the workout process beyond paying exorbitant dues at a club for stuff I can do at home after a point. There was no long term this is a part of my life feel to it. Working out was More of a “get your head back in order or  your ass back in gear” head for a bit so I could coordinate the next leg of AOLAB, or “Solely to keep eating fried oysters on sandwiches filled with sautéed beef tips & gravy” kind of spot-check roll, added to the whole“do they have a sauna?”indulgent mystique of my things. Not saying it didn’t work. Nicely. But It all went down in drab gear, like I wasn’t really there. My heart tends to be more Fauvist comes to Technicolor anyway, yet here I was getting it done in mourning cloth I had no connection to lol.I’d been consciously celibate for years, but I wasn’t a nun, and yet here I was working out in an old habit [Go as Freudian as you like on that one lol].

It was EPIC when, around my birthday in September, I finally decided to inject some Color into the mix after pondering the emotional investment of that since January 2013.  Still throw-away, but the color snapped me into awareness that it was ME in that gear working out. THAT was a first real semblance of a personal investment into the process that led to where I am looking out from now.

Moving closer to my 40s, I have made the decision that I don’t want to handle my fitness like that. I want it integral. It actually does me VERY good, so it needs to factor in as systematically as some things need to and are being systematically factored out.

I’d checked into Lululemon, but it was mainly due to curiosity over all the bad press they were getting about consciously not servicing the very people who they could make even more money hand over fist from if they had the intelligence to respect them. It’s the same with any body type that is on the peripherals of the “False Norm” these campaigns get you going for. Whether you are over 6 feet or barely 5 feet, under-nourished or shall we say overtly nourished, you fight to fit into tops or fill them…when you find a company that addresses that elegantly, wordlessly… you got a friend and a banknote for the equivalent of Life from that serviced woman. Which in womenswear is like maybe two to three years versus the standard 3-6month affection turnover encouraged.

With Lululemon I guess I wanted to see if they had reason to be choosing to be so diffident, betting the house on mean girls, clackers & consciously self-malevolent chicks that were going to be as fickle as a flame in the wind due to being indulged, ready to abandon ship as soon as the company hit its tipping point of popularity. & I have to say, the people in their stores are nice enough, but the logic makes no sense in the south where the ladies who lunch AND have gyms in their homes run the gamut from size 00s, to slim twos to svelte 12s without batting a professionally tinted eyelash. One yoga teacher silently swore by lululemon by being head to toe in the line every class. Others hadn’t drunk the Kool-Aid and couldn’t be bothered.

I finally decided to try out this Fabletics thing that turns out Kate Hudson is somehow part of. I’d watched it out the corner of my eye. There’s been buzz a good year, almost. But all kinds of celebs are doing all kinds of what-have-yous, so, especially as an ex-fashist, it’s usually all taken with a grain of salt. A few weeks ago, after checking the reviews from folks actually buying the stuff-could you imagine a jeans designer opening themselves to THAT candor?- I was impressed. Finally, I was like “Let me really look into this & see if it could fit with what my physical integrity goal is,” and ordered an outfit.

What sealed the “Let’s at least try them” for me was NOT the great deal- you get 50% off your first outfit, and the normal price-points would not be bad at all for the outfits IF the gear was up to snuff. What sealed it for me  as I stood straddling waterways like a colossus smack-dab in one of those aforementioned left-fields of feminine sizing things at a clean six feet with four feet of leg hipbone to floor and an ass that has ways of its own-were ALL the reviews from my girls at the other end of the spectrum[ my “I SAID i’m 5’2″cholas,holla!!].

“Hey, these pants are GREAT & they’re Really Long…but i just scrunch them down at the ankles because I Love them!”

And the reviews from the Shake what my momma gave me cholas with asses and hips, senses of humor[giggles]& jiggles were JUST as loud. “The fabric is so thick-in a good way- & they’re made so well!”

The $ invested [no tax/free shipping] for the two-piece outfit could equal the cost of all the leggings I absently grabbed in 2013 that are on last legs…or most of the tops lol.

Well…the outfit fought through Wintercane Leon & arrived today expecting to see snow like the rest of us in the bayou. And THIS…is why… the absently Secret-girl crush I Have…platonically on Kate Hudson is coming out with a happy smack on the esoteric ass of the chola whose body I always identified with.

Remember that scene from Charlie’s Angels[ I know, cross-pollinating! but follow me for a minute] where the guy Drew Barrymore’s character is schtupping gets all “The chad is great! The Chaddddd is terrific!!” because she’d enjoyed him?

THE PANTS FIT!

tHEeeeeeey fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dO I NEeD TO GRAB THE BIBLE NEXT TO MY bED TO eXPLAIN TO YOU HOW hUGE THAT IS?!

everywhere!!

I MEAN… TO MY ANKLEBONE~ UP OVER MY HIPS,NO LOVE HANDLES DUE TO ODD CHOPS~ ASS IS LIKE *bam!*!! LeGS~ THAT CRANK UP LIKE WHEN YOU’RE ON A ROLLERCOASTER GOING UP THE-

…*cough*

…Black with tuxedo-esque side panels of subtle black snake print.

I’ve been COld ALL day…I got out of the shower, anointed self with “omg maybe this oil will warm me up faster” oil…pulled these mugs on and… Haven’t been cold SINCE. & I have Issues With Downward dog & soon as I put them on & saw the situation in shock I instinctively popped down into Plank, twisted and flung 1 arm up into the sky, rolled back & popped right into it…NO issue. At All. I hung out there a bit, swooshing some, walking the dog to make sure.  Even the top which I wasn’t too keen on from the picture arrived and had me at Hullo.

Perfect.

Fabletics

This here chola officially went from a platonic girl-crush to a “see, I knew she was a[body] sista~”

I’m wearing the proof that she gets it. I am buying into it! I dont care if its marketing genius at play or what. The Pants FIT!!

I am Soooo sold.

I am so Amped to see the February collection that debuts in like two days. I’ve never tried on a pair of workout pants that fit like this. And it has me so amped that the gear arrived the day my February project account went live. I’m excited. I’m just simply excited. & it doesn’t kill my budget too?

*!sold!*

kaaate

This team she is working with?….they are spot-on and I hope they change Nothing!

So cool.

so..um… I guess I should say… check out Fabletics! omg. That’s like..an endorsement right there! I’d rock an entire wardrobe of this  without a blink because it truly fits.

A.B.

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